How to stop doing too much: the 3-priority rule for farmers
The 3-priority rule that changed my business
I was on a group coaching call one day when a peri-menopausal woman said she was tired of carrying around “this extra fluff”.
“Is it possible for someone like me to lose 20 pounds?”
The coach said, “Absolutely. But only if it's one of the three priorities in your life.”
Not one of ten. Not something you'll "try to fit in." One of three.
That answer stopped me in my tracks. Because it applies to everything when it comes to running a farm business.
Can you grow your email list? Yes! (If it's one of your three priorities)
Can you add a new revenue stream? Yes! (If it's one of your three priorities)
Can you finally get your systems in order? Yes! (If it's one of your three priorities)
Can you do all of those things at once? No! Not if you want any of them to actually work.
This is the rule that changed how I show up in my life, relationships, and business. And it's probably the opposite of what you've been doing.
The problem with ten priorities
You have a list. I know you do.
Maybe it's on paper. Maybe it's in your head. Maybe it's in seventeen different places because you keep starting new systems and abandoning them. IYKYK :)
And on that list? Everything. All the things you want to do, should do, need to do, wish you'd already done.
Grow the CSA. Update the website. Post more on Instagram. Build the email list. Add value-added products. Improve the packaging. Raise the prices. Find a wholesale account. Hire help. Fix the irrigation. Finally deal with the bookkeeping.
You look at that list and feel overwhelmed before you've started. So you either do a little bit of everything or what is easiest (and nothing gets real traction) or you freeze and do none of it (and beat yourself up for being lazy).
But you're not lazy. You're just trying to do too much.
Ten priorities means zero priorities. When everything is important, nothing is.
Why three works
Three is a constraint. And within constraint we find freedom.
When you can only pick three things, you have to get clear on what actually matters. You have to make real choices instead of pretending you can do it all.
Three priorities means:
You can actually hold them in your head
You can make meaningful progress on each one
You can say no to things that don't serve them (without guilt)
You can evaluate opportunities through a clear lens: "Does this support one of my three priorities?"
Three doesn't mean you ignore everything else. It means everything else gets maintenance energy, not growth energy. You keep the lights on, but you're not trying to build something new in those areas.
The building happens in your three priorities. That's where your attention, your intention, and your best energy go.
This isn't just about your to-do list
Most people think of priorities as tasks.
"My priorities this week are: seed tomatoes, send the newsletter, call the accountant."
That's a to-do list, not a priority framework.
Real priorities are bigger than tasks. They're the containers that hold your tasks. They're the lens you look through to decide what goes on the list in the first place.
A priority might be: "Get financially stable" or "Build my direct-to-consumer sales channel" or "Take care of my health" or "Be present for my kids."
The to-dos serve the priority. The priority doesn't change week to week because it's your focus for a season. Maybe a quarter. Maybe a year.
When someone asks if you can lose 20 pounds, they're not asking if you can add "exercise" to your to-do list. They're asking if you can make your health one of the three things your life is organized around right now.
That's a completely different question.
The life-level lens
Think of your priorities like a course load for a semester.
You can't take every class at once. You have to choose what you're learning this term. It doesn't mean you'll never take the other classes. It just means not right now.
Your life works the same way. You have finite focus. Finite energy. Finite hours. You can't work on everything at once and expect to make meaningful progress on any of it.
So I use three containers:
You (because you should always be a priority to yourself). Your health, your rest, your personal growth, your sanity.
Your Business. Your farm, your revenue, your systems, your work.
Your Relationships. Your partner, your kids, your friendships, your community.
That's it. Three containers. And here's the rule:
You get one priority per container.
Not three things you're working on in your business. One thing. Not five ways you're trying to improve your health. One focus. Not a whole list of relationship goals. One priority.
Three containers. Three priorities. That's your semester.
What happens when you constrain
When I started using this rule, everything changed.
I stopped feeling guilty about the things I wasn't doing. Because I'd made a conscious choice not to prioritize them right now. They weren't failures. They just weren’t the object of my focus right now.
I stopped saying yes to opportunities that sounded good but didn't serve my priorities. "That's not one of my three things right now" became a complete sentence.
I started making actual progress instead of spinning. When you focus energy on three things instead of scattering it across ten, things actually move.
I got clearer on what I wanted. Because I had to choose. And choosing forced me to figure out what mattered most.
And here's the surprising part: I got more done, not less. Constraint didn't slow me down. It sped me up. Because I wasn't wasting energy on things that weren't going to move the needle anyway.
How to find your three
If you've never done this, it can feel impossible. Everything feels important. How do you choose?
Here's a process:
Step 1: Brain dump everything.
Write down all the things you want to do, think you should do, feel pressure to do. Get it all out of your head and onto paper. Don't filter.
Step 2: Ask "What would make the biggest difference?"
Not what's most urgent. Not what other people want. What would actually move your business (or your life) forward the most?
Look for umbrella perks - the things that, if they worked, would make other things easier or unnecessary.
Step 3: Ask "What season am I in?"
Your priorities should match your season. If you're in survival mode, your priorities are different than if you're in growth mode. If you have young kids at home, your priorities are different than if your kids are grown.
There's no universal right answer. There's only what's right for you, right now.
Step 4: Choose three. Write them down.
Not four. Not "three plus this one small thing." Three.
Write them somewhere you'll see them. These are your filter for every decision for the next quarter (or whatever timeframe makes sense).
Step 5: Grieve the rest.
This is the hard part. You have to let go of the other things. Not forever — just for now.
That thing you really wanted to do but isn't one of your three? It goes on a "not now" list. It's not abandoned. It's deferred. You'll get to it when it becomes a priority.
Letting go is hard. But holding on to everything is harder.
The filter in action
Once you have your three, use them as a filter for everything.
New opportunity appears: "Does this serve one of my three priorities?" If yes, consider it. If no, decline it.
Someone asks for your time: "Does this support one of my three priorities?" If yes, maybe. If no, no.
You feel guilty about something you're not doing: "Is this one of my three priorities?" If no, release the guilt. You chose not to prioritize it right now. That's not failure — that's focus.
You're deciding how to spend your morning: "Which of my three priorities needs attention today?" Do that first.
The filter saves you from decision fatigue. You don't have to evaluate every opportunity from scratch. You just check it against your three things.
The business container: one priority
In my farm business planning workshop, I teach this same concept: choose ONE priority for your business this season.
Not a list of five initiatives. One focus.
Your one business priority might be:
Building systemsor sustainability - so the business runs without you being the bottleneck
Revenue growth - because you need more money coming in before you can do anything else
Quality of life and balance - the farm works but you don't have a life outside of it
Learning and experimentation - you need to try new things, build new skills, or figure out what's next
Something else - maybe it's hiring, or scaling down, or pivoting, or preparing to sell. If none of these fit, name what's actually true for you
Which one is right depends on your season. A farmer in year two has different priorities than a farmer in year ten. A farmer drowning in debt has different priorities than a farmer who's profitable but exhausted.
But here's what doesn't work: trying to do all of them at once. Building systems AND growing revenue AND scaling AND simplifying. That's not a priority — that's a wish list.
Pick one. Work on it for a semester. Then pick the next one.
The hardest part
The hardest part isn't choosing your three priorities. It's defending them.
It's saying no to good opportunities that aren't your three things.
It's watching other farmers do the thing you're not doing and trusting that your focus will pay off.
It's feeling the guilt of the undone things and not letting it derail you.
It's resisting the urge to add "just one more thing" when you have extra energy.
The constraint only works if you hold it. The moment you let it expand to five or seven or ten, you've lost the benefit.
Three means three. That's the rule.
Your turn
What are your three priorities right now?
Not the things you think you should prioritize. Not what you'd say if someone important was listening. What actually needs your attention and energy in this season?
If you can't answer that clearly, that's the first problem to solve. Because without that clarity, you'll keep scattering your energy across too many things and wondering why nothing's working.
And if you can answer it (if you know your three things) then the question becomes: are you actually protecting them? Or are you letting everything else creep in?
Three priorities. That's the rule. Everything else can wait.
You're doing a good job. Even when you're juggling more than you should be.
If you need help figuring out what your three priorities should be (or how to actually stick to them), I'm here. You can schedule a free chat with me anytime at FarmCoachKatia.com/work-with-me.
If this resonated, you might also like:
The energy drain of unmade decisions — Why too many open loops exhausts you
The one question that cuts through confusion — When you're overcomplicating everything
How thriving farmers spend their time differently — Where your attention actually goes